It’s been a rough several months for me. My mental health has not been good and it’s a tell-tell sign that some internal work is needed. Life has a way of taking us in and making us feel like we are right where we should be. I mean you are working and making a living, and seemingly doing the “things” that people in your circle do. You go out to dinner, plan vacations, have family parties, and celebrate the holidays as they come. It doesn’t seem like anything is out of the ordinary until you stop recognizing yourself. It is only at this juncture that you take notice that something unknown is trying to overcome you. This unknown slowly starts to make residence in your mind, body, and soul and soon you come to know it as anxiety and depression. It’s hard to pinpoint when the crack in the door allowed these intruders to come in, and honestly at this point it doesn’t matter that they made a home in you, it matters that they have taken residence for the long run, and well this is not sustainable. It’s hard, it sucks, and its life changing.
I’m in that point in time where anxiety and depression have taken root in a way I never expected. A seemingly healthy woman fighting to get a good night’s sleep sounds pathetic until you realize how vital sleep is to the human body. I have come to realize that lack of sleep can exacerbate anxiety to the point that it becomes chronic and debilitating. This is where I have found myself every day for the past four months in state of exhaustion and confusion. I pray, exercise, and do the things I have read about to calm the mind and relax the body, all to no avail. Yet, I am reminded that this is a season and that this too shall pass. The thing to consider when you are in the middle of the trial, fire, pit, or call it what you will, is how do you sustain yourself? Well, I have come to find out that I can’t sustain myself on my own effort and that it is only by God’s strength that I can face another day waiting for healing to come. It is in this hope, delayed as it may seem, that I am able to speak freely about my current situation. There is so much power in words, spoken or written, and this is a perfect time to take up space and share my journey as it evolves.
Today, I learned that we are prewired to look at the negative because this is part of our survival mechanism. However, we can train our brain to focus on the positive things and remind ourselves that they don’t hurt us, and that they are actually good for us because its where the practice of gratitude comes in. So, let’s practice gratitude. Today, I am grateful for the stamina to take out my tablet and write. So what are you grateful for?
Words are my love language and what better way to show love than to open up and share about this tough season because I know on the other side is a richer life.
And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28
Inspire to be Inspired 
Yes! Sometimes we just need to see past the negative and remember that there are positive moments in our lives and these outweigh any hinderance that we may be currently challenged with!
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That’s right, Randy!
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Thanks for sharing,I believe it’s the first step to recovery, to identify our feelings which is not easy when mental health is present. Since society sometimes takes it as weakness. I truly feel that it takes courage to come out and be honest about our thoughts and feelings. That’s how We can help each other and allow God to heal Us. One day at a time.
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Amen momma!!
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I love this and absolutely can relate. It can be so hard to live day to day with sadness. What stood out the most to me is that we are pre-wired to think negative, for me that is something that I need to change. I automatically think negative instead of just letting it flow or thinking positive. This statement is an eye opener! Thank you cousin for this. Today, I needed this.
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I’m glad you can relate cuzzo because it was an eye opener for me too.
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Anxiety and Depression are two things that can take total control of our lives sis, I’ve been there myself and still struggle with both, specially after we lost our Daddy. But I am so proud of you sis, you have spoken up openly about how you are feeling which we often don’t see people do this, you have seek help in God and with your doctors. I know you will be ok, I also feel that God is working in you and for you and something good will come out of all this. He has a purpose for everything, we must stay faithful in him through it all even if we don’t understand. I love you with all my heart ❤️. I am thankful for you, for our family and for our faith in God.
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Absolutely sis. God uses everything for good and I know he will do the same in our situation. I am also thankful for our family, friends, and the resources at our disposal.
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Great words! So many people don’t understand the effect that anxiety & depression can have over a person & this was a great way of putting it. One thing I can work on for myself is automatically thinking negatively.
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Me too ma! Let’s help each other stay on the positive train 😊
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What a great, heart-felting post auntie😇. I too suffered severe depression and anxiety a few months back and here I am now- having no idea that the cloud would be over, hopeless-happier than ever!
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Amen my Holy Moly!! 🙏🙏
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Anxiety and depression is a silent conversation in society let alone among family or friends ….People are quick to judge and not comprehend the magnitud mental illness can hurt an individual. It’s not easy to just snap out of it when you’re in a dark place. People need professional help at times and unfortunately that’s the stigma in todays society…..they are perceived as weak!!! I’m proud of you for speaking your truth, your feelings and seeking help.
And this blog thing is just the beginning of something big.
We are all on different seasons of our lives and GOD has us covered at different speeds. ❤️
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Love this mi Lolena!
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To the Love of my Life and the Beautiful Woman I do life with every day.
We all have “seasons” where Jesus test our faith to follow him or follow our flesh. You are and have proven to this world that Yahweh is your “core” and he ( Yahweh) will answer your prayers as you refine your oars and row your boat in his house.
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🙏🏼
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Mr. B, you couldn’t have said it better. I love you bubba!
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Absolutely stunning way to put things. I have struggled also with anxiety and depression and thought am I going crazy? Am I going to be okay? Its a work in progress but it too shall pass. It makes us stronger and wiser and able to handle it little by little. You are absolutely on the way to recovery by speaking on it and realizing you have it. Continue to share your experience as it helps us take notes and compare and even learn new ways to deal with it. Just know, you are not alone. I love you for being the person you are and always being so open about things. I have truly learned alot from you. I compare my daughter to you and feel she is so much like you and admire her the way I admire you. You are strong and very loved. Keep it up cousin
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Thank you cousin. I appreciate the love and support.
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Great word to share auntie, l think there are many people suffering with anxiety and depression and l ask God to give them strength to share it with someone ! Hope you can keep writing inspirational messages they really help ….
Thank you
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Amen, Madea! I hope at least one heart is touched by my story.
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The first step to facing your fears is acknowledging something is wrong. I am beyond proud of the fact that although you were feeling defeated and defenseless, you used the little strength you had to speak out what your true needs are. I’m sure this message will touch many people, especially those who suppress all these ugly feelings.
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